BoulderDash - Ignighter Road Trip Part 3
At the end of Part 2 Jerry Rig and Alan Wrench were relishing their new manly alter-egos. They honeymoon wouldn’t last long though…
We woke up on the third day of our trip to find that somebody (the consensus points to me Rig) had left the headlights on the night before. The car was dead along with our Mr. Hyde charade. Needless to say, we didn’t have jumper cables. And while we had a conceptual grasp on the process of jumping a car, neither of us had ever taken the lead. We know, it’s pathetic. However we were fortunate enough to get some much needed help from the very kind Omahanian woman who worked at the check-in/concierge/valet/wake-up service/general maintenance desk.
Thanks to our new friend, we did get the car running. Now all we had to do was get the hood shut properly and we could be on our way. Unfortunately, we needed the manual to do so. Not a joke.
Once we got the hood shut we were back on the road, feeling ready to conquer the last leg of the trip and move into our summer digs in Boulder. The only obstacle left it seemed - aside from the incessantly pouring rain and disconcerting proximity to deadly twisters - was lunch.
Food stops along Rte. 80 in western Nebraska don’t come up too often. So when we passed a “food exit” at 12:45 we knew it would be best to pull off and eat rather than risk the chance that we wouldn’t come across another for hours. And we still weren’t passing any damn food stands selling freshly picked ears of corn on the side of the road! Share your product with us Nebraska, you’re the Cornhuskers! I always keep a used tissue in my pocket in case I come across a stranger who wants to know what Jersey is like. The point is, you have to share your culture with your fellow Americans. But I digress.
And do you want to know the reason for the digression? I’m trying to avoid reliving the following horrendous scene.
We decided to eat at Taco Bell. It was disgusting. I ordered a chicken quesadilla and a chicken taquito. From what I could tell, they consisted of the exact same three ingredients and only those ingredients (cheese, tortilla, rubber chicken) the only difference was that they were rolled up into different shapes; one looked like a half-circle while the other looked a lot like Joey Fatone.
The shape of the creation would ultimately prove inconsequential. The rubber chicken had its strangle hold on me and it wasn’t sitting well. The moment I got behind the wheel I felt incredibly queasy. We drove through the pouring rain for about 20 more minutes, with me trying to breathe while Dan laughed and continued bringing up gross details about the food we had just eaten.
Dan: I think your Fatone roll-up had some beak in it. It wasn’t supposed to crunch like that was it?
Me (between slow breaths): Shut up Dan.
Dan: I still don’t understand why you ate ALL of it.
Me: Me neither.
Why did I eat the whole thing? Ughhhhh.
We made it as far as the next turnoff when I knew I couldn’t drive any longer. We pulled off the highway into a deserted convenience store. I ran to the bathroom to refund my “meal” and Dan followed. With the camera.
Once the beak was out of my system, Ignighter was back on the road for the home stretch. A few hours later we were in Boulder! Road trip successfully completed!
While the trip sure had its ups (calzone) and its downs (vomit), it was definitely something we won’t soon forget. And Ignighter’s upcoming summer in Boulder promises to be an unforgettable experience too. It’s something we’ll try hard to hold onto forever. Because in the words of Kid Rock:
“Now nothing seems as strange as when the leaves began to change
Or how we thought those days would never end
Sometimes I’ll hear that song and I’ll start to sing along
And think man I’d love to see that girl again”
In our next post we’ll explain what exactly it is that Ignighter is doing here in Boulder, CO for the summer. It’s pretty exciting stuff!
Like this post? Continue to Ignighter.com, send it to a friend or check out these related posts:|
|