Top five signs your one-on-one blind date isn’t going so well
5. Your date orders their food in only colors, textures, and smells.
4. Your date is Brooke Hogan.
3. Your date gets up from the table every 10 minutes to talk down their suicidal guinea pig via the answering machine.
2. Your date says you make them feel comfortable because they “get self-conscious around people in good shape.”
1. Your date has tattooed your name on their ankle before you’ve even met. Below an illustration of you. In the shower.
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